MACHO MADNESS!

Guest

*Tony Chimel stands in the ring with mic in hand.*

Chimel: Ladies and gentlemen, please allow me to me introduce the newest member of the wCw roster..........

*The house lights of the arena slowly fade to dark. The crowd escalates from an excited murmer to loud cheers and applause. The Titantron plays a video of a man's silhouette lifting weights and stretching his legs. The video zooms out to reveal a familiar haircut and bandana...and suddenly "Pomp And Circumstance" blasts it's build-up to a deafening pop from the crowd. At the peak of the song's intro, it suddenly pauses, and a blast of pyro fills the stage. The song crashes back into play, and a familiar hat can be seen entering the stage area. *

Michael Cole: Oh! My! It Can't Be!

Jerry Lawler: It Is! He's finally back! Woohoo!

*Randy Savage is shown, decked out in his flashy outfit, arms in the air. The crowd is going bananas, with faint chants of "Holy S***" echoing. Savage pauses, takes off his shades and quickly wipes a tear away. The crowd is on their feet giving a standing ovation. Savage throws his shades on and points to the sky.*

Tony Chimel: Frrrrom Sarasota, Florida....Macho Maaaaan.....Randyyyyy *voice breaks* SAVAGE!

*Savage makes his way to the ring, swinging his pointing hand over his head, giving high fives and pauses a moment to kiss a screaming mom on the cheek. He jogs up the steel steps, steps into the ring, and does his trademark spin. He shakes Chimel's hand and takes his mic. As the music fades out, the crowd begins a solid "Randy Savage" chant. Savage gives a big toothy grin.*

Randy Savage: OHHHHH YEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!

*the crowd erupts again*

Randy Savage: I betcha you've been waitin to hear THAT for a while! Well, guess what! The Macho Man Randy Savage is BACK BABY, YEAH! Now, I don't wanna get into where I was all this time, some rumors been floatin round, all that matters....is that ME, THE MACHO MAN, IS HERE, AND I AIN'T GOIN NOWHERE!

*the crowd continues to cheer and chant his name*

Savage: I'm thinkin some people are gonna doubt the Macho Man, yeah, cuz they think he's OLD! What they don't know is that the Macho Man is like a fine wine: You may look at me and only see the 1980's, yeah, but all those years and years in this industry, I was at the top, or at least close to it! I was a major player in both those brands during the ratings war shenanigans. Most importantly! The biggest difference between me and the rest of the wrestlers in this promotion is that..

*Savage takes off his shades and is suddenly serious*

Savage: In my hayday, we didn't have so many rules. My reputation holds true with certain "Wellness Policy No-No's" but back then people didn't care, yeah! Just ask anybody from back then, they'll tell ya, yeah. Nowadays, with all the rules about what the Macho Man can do to his body, I tell ya, it's gonna make the Macho Man mad! And yooouuuu knoww what happens when I enter the realm of...THE MADNESS!

*crowd roars, Savage dons shades*

Savage: THE MACHO MAN WILL CLOBBER HIS OPPONENT IN THE SQUARED CIRCLE! As for that funny little man Michael Cole is always sayin, how everybody considers a match against me the OPPORTUMINITY OF A LIFETIME...

Michael Cole: Hey!

Jerry Lawler: Haha, you ARE a funny little man, Cole!

Savage: What those opprtuminists don't realise, is that my strength, and my MACHONESS cannot be contained by NO MAN! When you feel the pain from my piledriver, or my atomic drop, YOU WILL BEG FOR MY ELBOW TO CRUSH YOUR HEART....and end your misery quickly, yeah!

Jerry Lawler: Wow! Randy Savage means business!

Savage: So to sum it all up for ya, ANYONE WHO THINKS THEY WANT A PIECE OF THE MACHO MAN RANDY SAVAGE, I GLADLY ACCEPT! YOU WILL BE SENT BACK TO SCHOOL, WHERE I AM THE HEADMASTER, AND I AM ALLOWED TO HIT MY STUDENTS! OHHHHHH YEEEEEAAAAAAHHH!!!!!

*Savage throws the mic into the crowd, where it is quickly cut off. Savage climbs the turnbuckle with fingers to the sky, poses briefly, then struts back to the locker, amid chants of "Welcome Back" and "You Still Got It!"

Guest

(All of a sudden someones theme blares throughout the arena.)

(Ryback enters the arena with a microphone in hand)

Ryback: RANDY SAVAGE!!! YOU OFFERED A CHALLENGE AND I WILL ACCEPT IT!! TONIGHT I WANT TO FIGHT YOU!!! AND YOU WONT ESCAPE MY GRASP!!!

Cole: Can we give this man a cookie please? My ears are hurting.

King: Shut up Cole, stop complaining.

(Ryback walks down to the ring with a temper.)

Ryback: I AM GOING TO HAVE FUN MAKING YOU FEEL PAIN!!! BECAUSE I AM HUNGRY FOR YOU!! WATCH THIS!! WATCH MY DOMINATION IN THE WWE!!!

(Ryback points to the Titantron.)

(A video starts to play.)

Ryback: YOU SEE!! I AM THE MOST DOMINATE FORCE TO WALK INTO WCW!!! AND I WILL HURT ALL THAT I WANT TO HURT!!

(Open to whoever)

Guest

*Savage pauses. Looks at Ryback, then turns away, looking nervous. Suddenly Savage turns around, jumps the barricade into the crowd to where he threw his mic, where a little boy on his dad's lap hands it to him. Savage pats the kid's head and runs back into the ring*

Randy Savage: Y'KNOW SUMPIN? YOU LOOK LIKE KING KONG BUNDY WEARING RVD's SINGLET AND VINCE RUSSO'S PERFUME! Lemme tell you sumpin, "Skip". You think because you're big and strong and fast and all prehistoric-like, and whatnot, and you've squashed a couple of children, yeah, you THINK....that you are the man. Well, The Macho Man is the man, and he is the DICTIONARY DEFENITION of the work macho. So, if you want some of this, then let's get us a referee and BOMB'S AWAY!!!

Guest

__________________________AFTER THE MATCH__________________________________

*It is just after Randy Savage's loss to Ryback. Savage is in the locker room, icing his shoulder. Matt Striker approaches with mic in hand.*

Matt Striker: Excuse me, Macho Man Randy Savage. First of all, welcome back, it's great to see you back in the ring. Now, your first match here in wCw was against the dominating Ryback, and it was a very close match, but in the end....well, you lost, Randy.

*Savage winces slightly as he stretches out his back.*

Randy Savage: That big ape's got a good a chin, yeah, but HE GOT LUCKY! Y'See Matt Striker, I may have lost that match, and I probably look a little silly after talkin tough before, but I learned something from that loss, yeah. The Macho Man needs to APAPT to his new enviroment, with all these wrestlers that grew up watchin the Macho Man fight Hoke Hogan and everyone, yeah. They watched me and learned my moves, and tweaked them to make the even MORE DEADLY, YEAH. But what all these little Macho Man fans don't know is that...I MAY HAVE BEEN GONE......but I was still lurking in the shadows, yeah, watching you all, yeah, STUDYING YOUR MOVES! Because whether I like it or not, this is a new kind of wrestling, there ain't no Miss Elizabeth, or New World Order, or Hokamania, yeah....so in short, Matt Striker, you can expect to see the Macho Man have a few NEW tricks up my sleeve!

*Savage turns to face camera*

Randy Savage: As for you, Ryback, you showed me something out there, but WE WILL MEET AGAIN! IT'LL TAKE MORE THAN A CAVE MAN TO STOP THE MACHO MAN! OHHHH YEAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!

Matt Striker: Thank you for your time, Macho Man, back to you, Cole!

END OF PROMO

Subject: Re: MACHO MADNESS! 5/15/2012, 3:00 am

{Official Grade}

Macho Man- First off I will say that I approve the fuck out of Macho Man being in the wCw zone. Secondly, this was a damn good promo. Great follow through after the match. Great characterization. Great everything. 5 SP

Guest

Wow. Again, I agree with Miz. In my opinion, this is the best promo I have ever read, PERIOD. Thanks for joining us.

Oh if you ever want to go on a promo war, I am The Big Show and I don't just talk big, I go big.

Jay

Subject: Re: MACHO MADNESS! 5/16/2012, 3:15 pm

FUCKING GREAT PROMO!!! DUDE, DAMN!!!!!!

Guest

Hahahaha glad you all approve

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