Alright guys. Both of you are new here so I will toss out a little bit of information about myself. I am the Smackdown GM, Shane McMahon and the wrestling superstar/current champion, Kane. I also play Sting on Raw. I grade the promos and wrote up the Smackdown side of this card and apparently am responsible for grading the good ol' promos on the PPV!
Now with that being said, I am what some call a "Grammar Nazi" in the case of if I see a grammatical error, I feel the need to correct it! Now, with you being forewarned, I can now grade your promos!
Kaz: 3/5
Ryback: 2/5
Kaz: I played Kaz in another fed. However, they allowed me to do what I wanted with his persona so he became CM Punk. Lulz.
I informed above that I am a grammar Nazi. Now, your promo isn't exactly the most..... Grammar friendly. There were a lot of little mistakes with capitalization, incorrect use of a word, and punctuation. The color coding change wasn't user friendly either. Made me feel like I was in a fun house. I suggest you keep just one color for your commentator, wrestler, and any side people. It would help when reading your promo. I would also space out a bit more between movement and dialogue. You also kind of botched the coding up there. Not a big deal and didn't really affect your grade that much but I figured I would just let you know!
On the good side of things.... My idea of Kaz as a heel is a cocky kid who can fly. So yeah. This being one of your first promos as him, you have a good start. Try to improve on some of these things man and I am sure you will be getting five points next time around!
Ryback: This is your second on the show so I will tell you that both will be graded but only the highest counts. I also currently play as him in another wrestling federation so I can go off of something when it comes to promos. LET'SA GO! -Mario
The reason I gave you so low is because of a few different things.
1. There was no color coding. I kind of thought you were making a motion as Ryback for a minute.
2. It lacked motion all together. You could of maybe put "Ryback comes marching out onto stage with a mic in hand....." and kind of given it a more realistic feel thant *music plays* *Ryback's voice comes from no where.*
3. Ryback is a man of few words but I think you could of added a bit more to your promo with dialogue also but that's just me. You also called him "kid" but I honestly don't think Ryback is that old. Not really affecting your grade, just a little comment. Lulz.
Well, there you go guys. Hope you enjoy the CONSTRUCTIVE criticism. Though, you may not. Eh, it happens. I think you both will be going places here and hope that you do. I can't wait to see the next promo from this and to see if you took my help!
