A New Dawn

It’s Wednesday Night Main Event and all of the wCw Universe is having a great time….until they hear that all too familiar tune.

I’M JUST ONE MAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNN! WWOOOOOAAAAAAHHHH WELL I’M A ONE MAN BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNDDDDDDDDDDDD!!!



The music stops and an equally disturbing song rings from the arena.

HELLO LADIES!



[Heath Slater and Val Venis appear from the curtain. Both men are wearing towels around their waists as they walk down the ramp. Heath Slater is grinning like an idiot, while Venis doesn’t seem too amused as this was clearly Slater’s idea. ]

Michael Cole: Oh god, what are these two doing here? That’s Heath Slater and Val Venis, the men that cost Christian his Intercontinental title match at Anarchy! What do they want? They're not even booked tonight!

Jerry Lawler: I don’t know, but I’m awfully glad I brought my ear plugs today!

[Slater and Venis grab microphones, and stand in the center of the ring as the music fades.]

Slater: I’M THE KING OF THE WORLD BABAY! WOOO!

Slater: You people didn’t think I could do it! You people thought I would fail! But look at me now babay I am getting a title shot at Anarchy! [Slater strums on his air guitar out of sheer excitement.]

[Heath Slater calms himself down and starts to get down to business.]

Slater: Now I have some important things to discuss with you people alright? Now although I beat this man right here two weeks ago, pretty badly I might add, we’ve actually have become pretty good friends. We both like to hurt people, we both like Southern Rock, [You can see Val subtly shaking his head] and we both love the same….movies. We’ve set aside our differences and, as you’ve seen on RAW, we make a good team.

[A recap is played of Heath Slater’s match with Christian on RAW]

Cole: What Heath Slater is referring to ladies and gentlemen, was the semi finals match for the Intercontinental Title Tournament between Heath Slater and Christian Monday night on RAW. Val Venis would show up as the Special Guest Referee after a request was made to Mr. John Laurinaitis. As you can see here, Val was anything but impartial as he delivers a Big Package to Christian. Slater would then land his Sweetness and win with a clearly fast three count, gaining him the victory.

[The recap ends]

Slater: It’s beautiful ain’t it? So Val and I were thinkin’, we should do this more often! So I would like to announce that as of tonight, the Lord of the Money Shot and the Master of the Guitar Riff have come together to create wCw’s future Tag-Team Champions:

MONEY RIFF!

[Heath and Val high five each other and Slater begins to play his air guitar. His last strum ends with a “WOOOO!” as Slater begins to talk again.]

Slater: Now I ain’t finished people so shut up! [There is a mixture of boos and groans coming from the crowd. Heath Slater begins to look very angry.] I have some different things to talk about alright?! That fat piece of trash Brodus Clay has crossed the line. Mama Slater is a saint! And does NOT deserve to be subjected to such torture as she was on Monday!

[A recap is shown of Mrs. Slater dancing with Brodus Clay in Clay’s locker room. The recap ends and Slater looks horrified. Val Venis is patting Slater on the back, trying to console him.]

Slater: [Tearing up in rage] I’LL TELL YOU WHAT FUNKAFATTY! YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT I’M GOING TO DO?! HOW BOUT I CHALLENGE YOU TO A TWO ON ONE HANDICAP MATCH ON RAW NEXT WEEK HUH?! MONEY RIFF VERSUS BRODUS CLAY. YOU THINK THAT’S UNFAIR?! IT DOESN’T MATTER! NOBODY MESSES WITH MAMA SLATER AND GETS AWAY WITH IT!

[Slater starts pacing back and forth around the ring in anger.]

(Open to my new tag team partner Val Venis!)