Posts : 832 Reputation : -33 Join date : 2012-04-11 Age : 26
Subject: The reincarnation. 12/14/2012, 6:39 pm
The arena is pumped after the Dibiase and Mysterio match. The crowd is chanting and what not as the ring is cleared. Then....
The lights go out as the pyro dies down. A spotlight drops down on center stage where red smoke is now rolling. A figure stand amongst the smoke as the titantron and side trons lights up with flames. The theme music hits. and the crowd slightly erupts.
The figure, figured as Kane, comes walking down the ramp as the lights turn a dark red color. The camera zooms in on Kane as he makes his way down the ramp and to everyones surprise, he now wears another outfit.
The crowd on the ramp all reach for a touch on Kane but to no avail as he walks to the apron and grabs the top rope. He pulls himself up onto the apron then over the top rope. He walks over to the middle of the ring where a mic now lays, no one man enough to hand it to him. Kane reaches up and removes the welding mask to reveal a new mask.
He lets the new look sink in for a few moments, breathing heavy, then reaches down and picks up the mic from the ground.
-Kane- The monster..... Of WcW.... Has been awoken..... You see, last week, my chance to reach the top arrived and left as soon as it had the last time...... The last time..... Years ago, before I was this monster.... Before I lived in the pits of hell that is this world now..... I was normal..... Just an average child who thought everyone was pure and perfect...... I was wrong! As I look around this filthy exscuse for an arena.... I look upon the faces of monsters.... Monsters in their true state..... You see, I do not hide my anger, hatred, or path of destruction..... Like all of you.... I wear a mask.... Like all of you attempt to..... I am disgusted how all of you point and say I am a monster when you, yourselves.... Go day in, and day out..... Revealing a new hatred for each individual that addresses you below what you hold yourself at..... I lost against a pitiful exscuse for a wrestler last week..... He swope to tactics that were unethical..... The only problem I have with it is that I didn't dig t those depths first! I should of destroyed him after the match! But I didn't..... I didn't because I had grown week.... Listening and allowing myself to do the whim of you so called "fans"..... You see..... I am no longer following the whim of you hidden monsters..... I am done trying to be nice...... I AM SICK OF IT! Tonight, I reunite myself with the person who burned me years ago..... The one who made me this way! And tonight, you had better pray to your gods, your saviours, and to yourselves..... That I am not allowed what I want... Because I plan to leave two broken souls and bodies here in this ring tonight..... I plan to send two worthless men to the pits of hell and back! I am sick of people sitting in this ring and watching them send you away from the hate that we all feel inside..... Soon, I will have what I want..... Wether any of you want it or not..... Soon, the true hell that I have felt for a long time.... Will be trinkling throughout this company and throughout anyone who watches these horrid shows.... Soon, every strifle that you sit through will be settle on pure hate. Welcome to my hell.
Kane laughs into the mic before droping it. He then begins to slowly raise his arms over his head, then slams them down causing pyro to explode.
Kane begins to laugh to himself and outloud as the camera gets a close up and the camera then fading out.
Tyler Member
Posts : 832 Reputation : -33 Join date : 2012-04-11 Age : 26
Subject: Re: The reincarnation. 12/19/2012, 5:47 pm
Still awaiting a grade...
Heath Slater wCw Assistant GM
Posts : 648 Reputation : 24 Join date : 2012-09-05 Age : 32 Location : Phoenix, AZ
Subject: Re: The reincarnation. 12/19/2012, 9:39 pm
Calm yer tits. I didn't forget, just busy.
Anyway, this is probably the best Kane promo since Age 2 started (not counting your awesome video package promos). Probably because you got his to open his mouth.
I get what you're trying to do, but I think you'd be better off without it. Maybe use commas and actions in between the words for pauses or just write things on a different line.
For example:
*Kane looks down at the mat* The monster, of wCw, *Kane looks up at the camera* has been awoken.
When we read promos, or at least when I read them, we already use the character's voice in our head as we read it. So the ..... aren't really necessary. If you want to keep them I guess you can, but if it distracts me it might hurt your overall grade.
The content itself was pretty good. It sounded like something Kane would say and you do a good job at redeeming yourself from your loss in the tournament. It's tough to be Kane, because if you lose often, its hard to promo.
Formatting was good, I like the pictures and video because even the thumbnail of the video was red so everything matched up at created a neat atmosphere.
Official Grade 4/5
Solid promo. Not your best, but solid. Kane doesn't sound like a fun person to promo with so I respect that you're trying to get something going. Consider my suggestion with the ....'s but if you want that to be "your thing" then go for it.
Guest Guest
Subject: Re: The reincarnation. 12/19/2012, 10:11 pm
I like the ....'s.
Just sayin'.
Jay
Tyler Member
Posts : 832 Reputation : -33 Join date : 2012-04-11 Age : 26
Subject: Re: The reincarnation. 12/20/2012, 12:29 am
Yeah..... So fuck you Critic! I actually love my dots!
Heath Slater wCw Assistant GM
Posts : 648 Reputation : 24 Join date : 2012-09-05 Age : 32 Location : Phoenix, AZ
Subject: Re: The reincarnation. 12/20/2012, 2:23 pm
Fair enough. They're called suggestions for a reason; you don't have to take them. However, it wouldn't kill you to try a different style every now and again. Maybe you will find something better.
Tyler Member
Posts : 832 Reputation : -33 Join date : 2012-04-11 Age : 26
Subject: Re: The reincarnation. 12/20/2012, 4:15 pm
Fair enough.... However, Kane, as you said, does not promo.... So I must present him with pauses..... Oh well.... Will work on it later.
